Sunday 2 December 2012

Making excuses: Why every issue should not be blamed on your autism/aspergers.

Obsession.  Anxiety.  Love.  Social skills.  Intimacy.  Affection.  Depression.

These are many things that I am finding that people on the autism spectrum complain about.  It is kind of dumbfounding to think about it.  These are issues that a lot of people off the spectrum have issues with as well, but none of them blames it on being normal.  So when a few Aspies/Auties are acting all weird about these issues, they start blaming it on their autism.  Why?  I fail to see how this helps a person grow.  I don't see a person who is doing this as someone who is accepting of themselves at all.  Now to the key points brought up at the beginning.

Obsession: Everyone obsesses over something from time to time.  The problem from my experience and with other people on the autism spectrum is that they seem to think this will scare people off.  This is not necessarily true.  People get scared when someone is obsessed with them and is doing things that aren't normal when it comes to obsessive behaviours (Stalking, either in person or through the internet).  It is not the autism's fault.  If you have obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), then maybe that helps make the issue bigger.  The only way obsession becomes a problem is if you don't figure out how to control it.  For example, if something is bothering you, deal with it.  Things that bother you are what is causing obsessive behaviour most of the time.
Example.  You think someone doesn't like you anymore and the thought bothers you to the point that you become obsessed over it.  You ask the person directly in a way that feelings won't be affected.  Afterwards, you can move on knowing that you did your best and not caring what the answer was.

Anxiety- A variety of reasons can contribute to anxiety.  I don't think this should solely be blamed on autism.  Anxiety can be caused by traumatic experience in the past, being hurt by others too many times, a bad experience in a certain situation, and the list goes on.  I also believe that paranoia is the biggest cause of anxiety, but that is a much deeper issue itself.  Obsession may also cause anxiety.  Any other reasons I have stated about making excuses for that matter can cause anxiety.  The only thing to do is to step outside your comfort zone and allow yourselves to live a little.

Love- Let's be fair here.  History shows that people with Aspergers find it very difficult to show appreciation and love towards other people. Well, it's time to debunk the myth that people with Autism are not capable of loving others.  It is easy to love others, but it has to go down to who loves themselves.  A normal person may not truly love themselves, so loving others becomes an issue too.  Why blame it all on Autism?  Everyone knows that is not fair.

Social skills- This is one issue that I think that autistics have some rights to make an excuse for.  I find some on the spectrum have indicated that they developed better social skills than others. In the non-verbal context, I find the issues much deeper when it comes to social skills.  However, the one thing to learn is that you have to get to know someone to be able to pick up on their body language and figure things out.  Some people are given the chance, while others are not.

Intimacy-Don't think for a second that this can be blamed on autism or aspergers.  Never blame a lack of intimacy on something like that.  Communication is an issue when it comes to intimacy as people don't seem to know how to communicate with one another in regards to this issue.  Provided people give eachother a fair chance, intimacy will either be enjoyed, or become an issue based off communication and misunderstanding.

Affection- Same deal with intimacy.  Affection plays a role with attraction however.  Simply put, if you don't understand how attraction works, then you will not know how to be affectionate with other people.

Depression- This could be for a variety of reasons and it may be because you are different and others see it and make you feel inadequate compared to them and look down on you.  You reveal your weaknesses too soon to new people and they exploit these weaknesses the first chance they get.  Maybe it's for other reasons and it might have to do with your lack of social skills.  Depression and Autism are linked close together, and there are links between the two.  However, If you have no idea what is causing the depression you might be feeling at any given point, don't point to being autistic or having Aspergers Syndrome just yet.

It's quite appalling that everyone will blame every single issue they have on being autistic or having Aspergers syndrome.  So maybe you should focus on yourself and grow.  Forget what everyone else says and remove the negative minded people from your life if that helps.  You will be much better off for doing so.


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