Aspie Parenting skills and self care Part 1

Keep in mind, I wrote this in early January 2020. Some truths still apply



Your days off work are already planned for you.


This is becoming more of a reality when you are married with children. I only have a 5 month old and my wife is on mat leave from her job. I work 5 days a week as I need to to make sure we stay ahead and caught up with our bills. When I have a day booked off work, it is a paid day and my wife has more likely than not planned my day for me before I even started to plan for myself. Chances are I won't know what she planned until the day off. But more often than not, she has planned to give herself as much of a break as needed. If you are the type of person that needs to get something done immediately when you wake up, my scenario says that I need to be up 2 hours before my family is. If I am not, I won't get anything done at all, or I will be forced to cut out something from my day. More often than not, I am forced to cut out the things I enjoy most. That is what is disappointing to me. Unfortunately, as I already stated, its reality and reality is telling me I am no longer able to prioritize anything above the child when he is awake and I am home.


For me, what I have found that I was forced to cut out of my life unless I wake up early enough is going to the gym. Our living arrangements don't really allow me the space to create workout space. I might be able to stretch, but that will be it. That's all I have space for. Considering people live below us and you can rule out any weight lifting or any exercise that may cause a disturbance. That means that I must workout at the gym if I do it at all. If I haven't left home by the time my family gets up, It is extremely likely that I won't be going. I also find that I am likely expected to do other things that will likely impact my ability to get a workout in if we need to be ready to do something else within a set time period. So I spend my days off looking after the baby while my wife gets ready to go somewhere. Then we leave.


Now I may sound like someone who is complaining about being a parent. Believe me here, there is no love like that for a parent has for their own child. I would do anything for him. I am just an aspie struggling to find his own time to do what he needs to do for his own well being without it affecting himself and his family.