Saturday 22 February 2020
Aspie Parenting and Self Care part 2: Communicating with your wife
This was written in the middle of January. We had also just moved to a home we bought in the Middle of December. Way too much happened so quickly and I burned out. I just narrowly avoided a meltdown. I was however feeling burnt out.
Being a new parent can be interesting. The harsh reality I have had to come across myself is that of self care vs sacrifice. What I mean by that is that there are things you will enjoy doing before the little one interrupts your life that you may no longer have time for. Perhaps what you no longer have time for is only temporary, but it is still a sacrifice. But what about sacrificing things you enjoy that were meant for self care and to help keep you level headed? Just about anyone you talk to who has had children of their own will tell you that self care is still important. They will also say time for your loved ones and maintaining your reletionships are too. But today, let's focus on self care.
Why am I not allowed to do what I enjoy?
Maybe it's not about what you enjoy. Perhaps it might be the give and take in your relationship with your partner. Being the father and having had a past history of depression, I know I will pull back and withdraw when I hit my peak depression. I will go silent when presented with a tough question out of fear of disappointing my wife. The problem is all I am doing is further disappointing her by being silent and not fixing the issue. I now sink further and feel less inclined to share what's going on with me. The reason for that is simple: she feels I am not listening to her, I certainly expect she won't listen to me.
The hard part for me aside from depression is Aspergers. I don't always have the ability to process what I was just told by my partner. It takes some time before I finally realize the message behind what I am being told. And sometimes when I think I need to read between the lines of what I was told, it turns out she was being direct with me the whole time.
Recent events in our lives have taken a toll on me. I haven't been to the gym more than once in the last two months. I have not had adequate alone time to get things done. I go to work and come home. I have also had to cancel going to a friend's secret santa party at the last minute as well. Things that I know I needed for self care were taken away from me. Of course, I am not the one on leave from work like my wife is, so I know there isn't going to be much sympathy from my wife in the things I want to do, but can't.
Aspie Parenting skills and self care Part 1
Keep in mind, I wrote this in early January 2020. Some truths still apply
Your days off work are already planned for you.
This is becoming more of a reality when you are married with children. I only have a 5 month old and my wife is on mat leave from her job. I work 5 days a week as I need to to make sure we stay ahead and caught up with our bills. When I have a day booked off work, it is a paid day and my wife has more likely than not planned my day for me before I even started to plan for myself. Chances are I won't know what she planned until the day off. But more often than not, she has planned to give herself as much of a break as needed. If you are the type of person that needs to get something done immediately when you wake up, my scenario says that I need to be up 2 hours before my family is. If I am not, I won't get anything done at all, or I will be forced to cut out something from my day. More often than not, I am forced to cut out the things I enjoy most. That is what is disappointing to me. Unfortunately, as I already stated, its reality and reality is telling me I am no longer able to prioritize anything above the child when he is awake and I am home.
For me, what I have found that I was forced to cut out of my life unless I wake up early enough is going to the gym. Our living arrangements don't really allow me the space to create workout space. I might be able to stretch, but that will be it. That's all I have space for. Considering people live below us and you can rule out any weight lifting or any exercise that may cause a disturbance. That means that I must workout at the gym if I do it at all. If I haven't left home by the time my family gets up, It is extremely likely that I won't be going. I also find that I am likely expected to do other things that will likely impact my ability to get a workout in if we need to be ready to do something else within a set time period. So I spend my days off looking after the baby while my wife gets ready to go somewhere. Then we leave.
Now I may sound like someone who is complaining about being a parent. Believe me here, there is no love like that for a parent has for their own child. I would do anything for him. I am just an aspie struggling to find his own time to do what he needs to do for his own well being without it affecting himself and his family.
Saturday 15 September 2018
There is a reason why people say "be careful what you wish for..."
I said in my previous post about life lessons that are needed by age 30 that you can't allow anything to consume you. The reason for it is what you allow to consume you is not only that you lose a lot of friends and respect from others, it ultimately comes back to you and how you handled yourself. Think about the thoughts you have when these situations occur as well and you will understand what I mean by that. Of course, this post is about common sense as well. I find many people I come across now who seem lacking in that, and for whatever reason (and if you read comment sections on Facebook posts or other websites), people openly display their lack of common sense now and think nothing of it. Perhaps as well that anyone reading this needed a reminder because they got stuck in a negative mindset and need to get out of it.
Ultimately the reason why one person has to be careful what they wish for is that they just might get it. So if you are wishing for something positive and you are in fact praying about it, or making the efforts to better yourself, you may end up getting what you ask for. Of course, it may not happen at the time you want it to happen, and that is ultimately why you need to be patient on that front while keeping your mind focused on other things important to you in the mean time. Body builders for example don't build their muscles over night. They had to work on it and they knew if they put their mind to it, they would get what they would ask for. Instead of willing their way to having bigger arms, they did the work to achieve their goal and with a little help and some luck, they got there.
Of course, the same goes with negative thinking. If you start thinking and worrying that something is going to happen, it might just happen. For example, if you think that you will get into a fight with someone at work today, perhaps you will. The reason why is because you were thinking about it and it happened. That seems a little extreme and I can confirm it didn't happen to me or anyone else at work. But maybe think about it for a second. You have someone at work or school who is bullying or harassing you and you start thinking to yourself "if he/she calls me by that name one more time, I swear to got I will knock his/her teeth out." What happens is that the person went and said the thing you didn't want to hear and you attempted to knock his teeth out. You got what you wished for.
So with that being said, what do you want to ask for? What is it that you want to think about? Of course, we all have our dreams of winning the lottery, but that is more luck and completely out of your control. It is nice to think about it, but perhaps we need to ask for something that we have a bit more control over. Perhaps you want that promotion at work or that acceptance letter into Harvard. Getting an offer is out of your hands, but you can do what you can to play your part and ask to be considered. Of course, maybe you have filled your mind with negativity and it wasn't entirely your fault that it happened, and you want to fight something not worth fighting for.
You get what you think you will get. That is the simple truth behind what I have to say today. Whatever it is you think about is going to be what you get in the end. It is that simple.
Ultimately the reason why one person has to be careful what they wish for is that they just might get it. So if you are wishing for something positive and you are in fact praying about it, or making the efforts to better yourself, you may end up getting what you ask for. Of course, it may not happen at the time you want it to happen, and that is ultimately why you need to be patient on that front while keeping your mind focused on other things important to you in the mean time. Body builders for example don't build their muscles over night. They had to work on it and they knew if they put their mind to it, they would get what they would ask for. Instead of willing their way to having bigger arms, they did the work to achieve their goal and with a little help and some luck, they got there.
Of course, the same goes with negative thinking. If you start thinking and worrying that something is going to happen, it might just happen. For example, if you think that you will get into a fight with someone at work today, perhaps you will. The reason why is because you were thinking about it and it happened. That seems a little extreme and I can confirm it didn't happen to me or anyone else at work. But maybe think about it for a second. You have someone at work or school who is bullying or harassing you and you start thinking to yourself "if he/she calls me by that name one more time, I swear to got I will knock his/her teeth out." What happens is that the person went and said the thing you didn't want to hear and you attempted to knock his teeth out. You got what you wished for.
So with that being said, what do you want to ask for? What is it that you want to think about? Of course, we all have our dreams of winning the lottery, but that is more luck and completely out of your control. It is nice to think about it, but perhaps we need to ask for something that we have a bit more control over. Perhaps you want that promotion at work or that acceptance letter into Harvard. Getting an offer is out of your hands, but you can do what you can to play your part and ask to be considered. Of course, maybe you have filled your mind with negativity and it wasn't entirely your fault that it happened, and you want to fight something not worth fighting for.
You get what you think you will get. That is the simple truth behind what I have to say today. Whatever it is you think about is going to be what you get in the end. It is that simple.
Wednesday 4 July 2018
Some Truths about the World you must learn by the age of 30.
I have come to realize that life can be very difficult and hard. When it comes to work, to relationships and marriage, to your own physical and mental health, these are the harsh truths I had to learn:
1. The world doesn't care about your freedom or independent thoughts. This can hit really hard when you think about the recent #MeToo movement. But outside of that, it most certainly applies to any job you work, any relationship you keep with people as well as what you may or may not do in your own private residence. In fact, you may not even own your own residence, therefore the rules may be dictated to you in what you can and cannot do in that environment. We also keep hearing stories about what your smartphones and devices can record when you don't think you are being recorded. In this regard, one can only hope that what they have to say in their own private conversations with eachother won't get them in trouble one day.
2. Your boss doesn't care for your questions and independent thinking. Your boss likely hired you to do a job. Part of that job will require you to do as asked and listen to the rules they make up as things go along. You may not be hired to think outside the job you were hired to do. The rules sure might not make sense and maybe the rules may restrict your freedoms in the workplace. Unfortunately for you, the boss isn't going to care what you think of the rules as they feels it is their right to manage the workplace as they sees fit. After all, they are in the business to make money, not argue with employees and babysit. Those who disagree can leave as far as they're concerned. How the employee chooses to leave or comply is up to the employee.
3. Your metabolism may eventually slow down for any reason. In my early 20s, I could exercise and workout and eat whatever I wanted. Albeit, I still ate a lot of healthy foods. I was also a smoker mind you, and I would binge drink just about every other weekend. Flash forward to my late 20's and early 30's and I literally have to eat less than the calories I expend throughout exercise to maintain a healthy weight. My metabolism slowed down. Part of it could be stress and anxiety that causes metabolism to slow down, or I just don't pay as much attention as I should to what I eat and when I eat. I don't smoke or drink like I did when I was younger either. The cigarettes did play a role in how much I ate from what I do remember.
4. Living with a partner and/or marrying them will increase financial spending and risks. I could save more when living alone. For some reason, it is becoming more and more difficult to do just that when you have a partner, married or not. The government will recognize you as common law if you are not married, but living together and your taxes will reflect that each February-April. I never had to owe taxes before being married, but I can sure as shit tell you that I did after. My wife doesn't make as much as I do, but also needs more money that she doesn't have for certain items. This puts plans for savings on hold more often than not. The most recent expenditure was an air conditioner and those aren't cheap.
5. Simply quitting your job is not an option when you have bills to pay. As much as you might want to quit your job because you hate your boss and think he is the biggest asshole, it is simply not an option. It shouldn't be an option even when you are single and have to pay bills or when married and have dependents relying on you. If your job doesn't require any marketable skills to move on to the next job, it will be up to you to upgrade your skills as necessary as your boss may not be interested in helping you out. For example, you may want a clerical job elsewhere after working forklift jobs for a few years. However, most jobs require the clerical experience and your boss doesn't want to give you clerical experience. At this point, leaving won't be an option until you have the requisite experience. one way or another, or you can get an entry level clerical job elsewhere.
6. There is no security in your job. Goes with number 5 and to a certain degree, number 1 on this list either. With employers wanting to pay cheaper and cheaper, the only option is to find a skill-set you can market yourself to succeed with. Failure to do so will end up resulting in your job being lost one day and being replaced by either automation or a cheaper and easier to pay employee.
7. There is no security in your relationships. Outside of God and a relationship with Jesus (I am a believer btw), or your family, you will find no security in a relationship with anyone. These people are only going to be around as long as it benefits them to do so. More often than not, people don't want to be around a person they see as being too negative, or being too miserable. It doesn't matter if you speak truth if the viewpoint is that you are being negative and toxic. Negativity and truth can correlate together often as some people just want to enjoy life as they know it.
8. You simply cannot allow anything to consume you/Learn to forgive. Didn't get that promotion? My previous entry will tell you I am in that same boat. Don't get too focused on it and angry about it or you may end up behaving in a less professional manner (even if you don't realize it). Partner cheated on you and you felt like you didn't deserve such treatment? I have been there too in the past and the only real option is to just let it all go. In my case, I let them go too as I knew I wouldn't be able to trust that person again.
Fact of the matter is that people who allow themselves to be consumed by all the shit that has happened to them have a hard time letting things go. In other words, they have a hard time forgiving the past. These people also wonder why the people in their lives don't want anything to do with them anymore. The fact is that people who are too caught up in the past sins that have been committed against them don't listen to other people. It's as if there is no voice of reason. Don't be that person.
9. Learning to forgive will relieve some of your stresses. This is one I know I have a hard time remembering, but you will feel a heavy burden lifted off you when you learn to forgive. It is better to learn this for yourself then to ask others. You can ask God, or family for forgiveness, but you can never truly ask others as they may be too hardened to forgive you. So do the forgiving for yourself and just let go. You will definitely feel better for it. I know it isn't always easy for me, but I know I can feel better when I do let something go.
1. The world doesn't care about your freedom or independent thoughts. This can hit really hard when you think about the recent #MeToo movement. But outside of that, it most certainly applies to any job you work, any relationship you keep with people as well as what you may or may not do in your own private residence. In fact, you may not even own your own residence, therefore the rules may be dictated to you in what you can and cannot do in that environment. We also keep hearing stories about what your smartphones and devices can record when you don't think you are being recorded. In this regard, one can only hope that what they have to say in their own private conversations with eachother won't get them in trouble one day.
2. Your boss doesn't care for your questions and independent thinking. Your boss likely hired you to do a job. Part of that job will require you to do as asked and listen to the rules they make up as things go along. You may not be hired to think outside the job you were hired to do. The rules sure might not make sense and maybe the rules may restrict your freedoms in the workplace. Unfortunately for you, the boss isn't going to care what you think of the rules as they feels it is their right to manage the workplace as they sees fit. After all, they are in the business to make money, not argue with employees and babysit. Those who disagree can leave as far as they're concerned. How the employee chooses to leave or comply is up to the employee.
3. Your metabolism may eventually slow down for any reason. In my early 20s, I could exercise and workout and eat whatever I wanted. Albeit, I still ate a lot of healthy foods. I was also a smoker mind you, and I would binge drink just about every other weekend. Flash forward to my late 20's and early 30's and I literally have to eat less than the calories I expend throughout exercise to maintain a healthy weight. My metabolism slowed down. Part of it could be stress and anxiety that causes metabolism to slow down, or I just don't pay as much attention as I should to what I eat and when I eat. I don't smoke or drink like I did when I was younger either. The cigarettes did play a role in how much I ate from what I do remember.
4. Living with a partner and/or marrying them will increase financial spending and risks. I could save more when living alone. For some reason, it is becoming more and more difficult to do just that when you have a partner, married or not. The government will recognize you as common law if you are not married, but living together and your taxes will reflect that each February-April. I never had to owe taxes before being married, but I can sure as shit tell you that I did after. My wife doesn't make as much as I do, but also needs more money that she doesn't have for certain items. This puts plans for savings on hold more often than not. The most recent expenditure was an air conditioner and those aren't cheap.
5. Simply quitting your job is not an option when you have bills to pay. As much as you might want to quit your job because you hate your boss and think he is the biggest asshole, it is simply not an option. It shouldn't be an option even when you are single and have to pay bills or when married and have dependents relying on you. If your job doesn't require any marketable skills to move on to the next job, it will be up to you to upgrade your skills as necessary as your boss may not be interested in helping you out. For example, you may want a clerical job elsewhere after working forklift jobs for a few years. However, most jobs require the clerical experience and your boss doesn't want to give you clerical experience. At this point, leaving won't be an option until you have the requisite experience. one way or another, or you can get an entry level clerical job elsewhere.
6. There is no security in your job. Goes with number 5 and to a certain degree, number 1 on this list either. With employers wanting to pay cheaper and cheaper, the only option is to find a skill-set you can market yourself to succeed with. Failure to do so will end up resulting in your job being lost one day and being replaced by either automation or a cheaper and easier to pay employee.
7. There is no security in your relationships. Outside of God and a relationship with Jesus (I am a believer btw), or your family, you will find no security in a relationship with anyone. These people are only going to be around as long as it benefits them to do so. More often than not, people don't want to be around a person they see as being too negative, or being too miserable. It doesn't matter if you speak truth if the viewpoint is that you are being negative and toxic. Negativity and truth can correlate together often as some people just want to enjoy life as they know it.
8. You simply cannot allow anything to consume you/Learn to forgive. Didn't get that promotion? My previous entry will tell you I am in that same boat. Don't get too focused on it and angry about it or you may end up behaving in a less professional manner (even if you don't realize it). Partner cheated on you and you felt like you didn't deserve such treatment? I have been there too in the past and the only real option is to just let it all go. In my case, I let them go too as I knew I wouldn't be able to trust that person again.
Fact of the matter is that people who allow themselves to be consumed by all the shit that has happened to them have a hard time letting things go. In other words, they have a hard time forgiving the past. These people also wonder why the people in their lives don't want anything to do with them anymore. The fact is that people who are too caught up in the past sins that have been committed against them don't listen to other people. It's as if there is no voice of reason. Don't be that person.
9. Learning to forgive will relieve some of your stresses. This is one I know I have a hard time remembering, but you will feel a heavy burden lifted off you when you learn to forgive. It is better to learn this for yourself then to ask others. You can ask God, or family for forgiveness, but you can never truly ask others as they may be too hardened to forgive you. So do the forgiving for yourself and just let go. You will definitely feel better for it. I know it isn't always easy for me, but I know I can feel better when I do let something go.
Sunday 1 July 2018
What is a disgruntled employee and how should I avoid becoming one?
I have been having my own problems at work recently, and considering this is my third entry on my work experience in the last year, it should come as no surprise to people who have been reading. I do work in a unionized environment and we do have a code of conduct policy that may restrict my ability to reveal certain information about my company. I also prefer to keep anonymous as much as possible to avoid be asked information. So I can tell you information about my workplace that has resulted in the departure of some employees. Some employees who have been fired eventually got their jobs back. However, we have a new provincial government and they may make it more difficult for me to get my job back in the event that I were to ever be fired (I work for a crown corporation, which means I am in the public sector). That being said, I cannot speak on behalf of my employer and this blog is simply my experience being shared and my opinion on what I think happens or will happen at work.
I look at my experience and I ultimately realize that people become disgruntled for the following reasons:
1. Denied promotion for no valid reason: This did happen to another employee who had to fight for 7 months to get their promotion through the grievance process. I filed a grievance more recently because I was denied a temporary job assignment with no valid reason given. In both of our cases, management couldn't give an explanation as to why.
2. No recognition for good work and improving performances: I have had good couple years at work. However, management wants to continue holding the past against me. They are making it clear to me that they are more than happy to me move the field goal posts further and further back.
3. No incentive to move forward: In connection with number 2 above, if improvement can't be acknowledged, then the small victories can't or won't be celebrated. What would be the point in doing a good job if there is no reward for it?
4. Grievance process is drawn out over long periods of time: This may ring true in a unionized environment with a Collective Bargaining Agreement. In this case, your being disgruntled may be directed at your union representatives as well as your management team. You just want your grievance to go along smoothly and as quickly as possible. However, when your grievance ends up taking 12-24 months to get to arbitration (and it doesn't get thrown out or union settles for less than what you are owed), you start getting pissed off even more. Personally, I have not gone to arbitration yet, so I can't say I have been screwed over by my union in that regard... yet. I have seen others take forever. The only advice that can be given is to just let the process sort things out. But if you are like me however:
5. You have too many grievances: You have been wronged enough times by your management team that you may be putting in a lot of grievances. Regardless of how wrong management might be, if you keep filing grievances instead of letting decisions go, they will have no problem letting arbitration sort out your mess. At this point, I have to understand that I might win a couple, but it will most certainly come at a cost to the relationship with the employer. You can't expect to win some grievances without your employer taking it personally. I myself will have to be prepared to live with that.
6. Management shows a total lack of respect to the employees: The most recent grievance I was referring to in number 1 is what I will be referring to here. I ended up finding out in a text message from a co-worker on another shift that the position I had applied for was given to someone else. Management felt it was necessary to not give me any notice ahead of time, or pull me aside to inform me of the decision. This was piss poor tact no matter how you look at it in a unionized environment, especially if you want that employee affected to be respectful and accepting of your decision making. The only reason management would want to do this however may have to do with the fact that they want to make it clear that they don't respect you or like you. In other words, they may not have cause to fire me, but want me to quit without having to offer a severance package.
To avoid becoming disgruntled: I have no real advice for you that would make me not look like a hypocrite. But I would imagine that you would have to pick your own battles and take the grievances that matter the most to you to arbitration and argue those grievances. You will have to understand that the arguments are out of your control once you go past the necessary stages that occur before arbitration (you have to argue to management that you were wronged and deserve what you are asking for). Also keep your arguments with management away from your fellow employees. The more you complain to other employees, the more likely you will receive complaints about being your attitude and it may affect the morale of the workplace. You will still have to maintain a high level of professionalism if you choose to stay around in the environment in which management has caused you to be disgruntled. Your attitude before arbitration will ultimately be considered. Be careful what you say and to who.
I don't know the management perspective of how they deal with a disgruntled employee. But I imagine they will have to nip any issues in the bud as they occur. If they don't, that will be the warning sign that they don't care and want you to leave despite having no cause to fire you. Now if management does want you gone, they will fire you if they see you making mistakes as a result of being disgruntled That is why I recommend being as professional as possible as it will help your argument. If management doesn't care that you are disgruntled and wants you gone, you will feel like you are walking on eggshells. The first excuse they can find to fire you with cause (meaning possibility of severance is significantly reduced), expect them to pull the trigger.
In my unionized environment, I have only heard the rumours that management does offer payouts to employees they don't want back. It appears that the payouts would have to be something substantial in order to get the employee to not come back. I have seen some employees return a couple years after being fired too since there had to be an underlying issue for that employee's dismissal.
I look at my experience and I ultimately realize that people become disgruntled for the following reasons:
1. Denied promotion for no valid reason: This did happen to another employee who had to fight for 7 months to get their promotion through the grievance process. I filed a grievance more recently because I was denied a temporary job assignment with no valid reason given. In both of our cases, management couldn't give an explanation as to why.
2. No recognition for good work and improving performances: I have had good couple years at work. However, management wants to continue holding the past against me. They are making it clear to me that they are more than happy to me move the field goal posts further and further back.
3. No incentive to move forward: In connection with number 2 above, if improvement can't be acknowledged, then the small victories can't or won't be celebrated. What would be the point in doing a good job if there is no reward for it?
4. Grievance process is drawn out over long periods of time: This may ring true in a unionized environment with a Collective Bargaining Agreement. In this case, your being disgruntled may be directed at your union representatives as well as your management team. You just want your grievance to go along smoothly and as quickly as possible. However, when your grievance ends up taking 12-24 months to get to arbitration (and it doesn't get thrown out or union settles for less than what you are owed), you start getting pissed off even more. Personally, I have not gone to arbitration yet, so I can't say I have been screwed over by my union in that regard... yet. I have seen others take forever. The only advice that can be given is to just let the process sort things out. But if you are like me however:
5. You have too many grievances: You have been wronged enough times by your management team that you may be putting in a lot of grievances. Regardless of how wrong management might be, if you keep filing grievances instead of letting decisions go, they will have no problem letting arbitration sort out your mess. At this point, I have to understand that I might win a couple, but it will most certainly come at a cost to the relationship with the employer. You can't expect to win some grievances without your employer taking it personally. I myself will have to be prepared to live with that.
6. Management shows a total lack of respect to the employees: The most recent grievance I was referring to in number 1 is what I will be referring to here. I ended up finding out in a text message from a co-worker on another shift that the position I had applied for was given to someone else. Management felt it was necessary to not give me any notice ahead of time, or pull me aside to inform me of the decision. This was piss poor tact no matter how you look at it in a unionized environment, especially if you want that employee affected to be respectful and accepting of your decision making. The only reason management would want to do this however may have to do with the fact that they want to make it clear that they don't respect you or like you. In other words, they may not have cause to fire me, but want me to quit without having to offer a severance package.
To avoid becoming disgruntled: I have no real advice for you that would make me not look like a hypocrite. But I would imagine that you would have to pick your own battles and take the grievances that matter the most to you to arbitration and argue those grievances. You will have to understand that the arguments are out of your control once you go past the necessary stages that occur before arbitration (you have to argue to management that you were wronged and deserve what you are asking for). Also keep your arguments with management away from your fellow employees. The more you complain to other employees, the more likely you will receive complaints about being your attitude and it may affect the morale of the workplace. You will still have to maintain a high level of professionalism if you choose to stay around in the environment in which management has caused you to be disgruntled. Your attitude before arbitration will ultimately be considered. Be careful what you say and to who.
I don't know the management perspective of how they deal with a disgruntled employee. But I imagine they will have to nip any issues in the bud as they occur. If they don't, that will be the warning sign that they don't care and want you to leave despite having no cause to fire you. Now if management does want you gone, they will fire you if they see you making mistakes as a result of being disgruntled That is why I recommend being as professional as possible as it will help your argument. If management doesn't care that you are disgruntled and wants you gone, you will feel like you are walking on eggshells. The first excuse they can find to fire you with cause (meaning possibility of severance is significantly reduced), expect them to pull the trigger.
In my unionized environment, I have only heard the rumours that management does offer payouts to employees they don't want back. It appears that the payouts would have to be something substantial in order to get the employee to not come back. I have seen some employees return a couple years after being fired too since there had to be an underlying issue for that employee's dismissal.
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Tuesday 30 January 2018
My Toronto Blue Jays all-time roster.
Compared to what I normally write on my blog (and when I do get around to writing), I usually write something closer to the heart. This post, I decided I would rather have some more fun with the writing. I grew up a big baseball fan and loved the Toronto Blue Jays. Mind you, some of the players I put on this list played before I was born. But I thought if I could name my all-time roster, I will.
The conditions are simple: The players must have had an impact regardless of how long they have played with the Blue Jays, and we must have no more than four reserves for the outfield and infield positions. Only one backup DH and catcher. The starting rotation will consist of 6 pitchers and a starter could end up being named as a long relief pitcher if he didn't make the starting rotation cut on my list. Here is the list:
Starting Catcher- Pat Borders- This was a bit of a close call over Russel Martin, but Pat Borders played more years with the Blue Jays and at a younger age compared to when Russel Martin joined the Blue Jays as veteran. Pat Borders had a good arm behind the plate to throw out potential base stealers and his crowning achievement was being on the two world Series teams and being named the 92 World Series MVP.
Backup Catcher- Russel Martin- He can be referred to as the man that helped end the longest playoff droughts in the last 25 years in Major League Baseball. He helped Pittsburgh end it's 22 year playoff drought in 2013. His batting average has dropped over the last couple years and he came to the Blue Jays late in his career and his career at this point looks to be over in the next couple years.
Staring infield-
1st Base- Carlos Delgado- The Blue Jays had no shortage of great first baseman. John Olerud and Edwin Encarnacion come to mind as great Blue Jays first basemen. But Carlos Delgado had to take this one due to his combined power and batting average as well as patience at the plate. While not as good a fielder as Olerud was, he was a solid everyday starter at first base. Is the only Blue Jay player to hit 4 home runs in a game.
2nd Baseman- Roberto Alomar- Five years, five gold gloves, five all-star appearances. Had tremendous speed, hit well for average and had possibly the best fielding range of any second baseman during his era. His best moments include a game tying home run off Dennis Eckersley in the 1992 ALCS game 4, and an amazing diving catch in Game 1 of the 93 World Series to rob Lenny Dykstra (would be MVP if the Phillies won) of a sure base hit.
3rd Basemen- Josh Donaldson- I don't think I have seen any other Blue Jays player outside of Joe Carter to help reinvigorate a franchise quite like Josh Donaldson has. His first two years as a Blue Jay resulted in winning Season MVP honours over Mike Trout and 2 straight ALCS appearances. Was the catalyst of a potent Blue Jays offense and is a 30 home run- 100 RBI threat every year he has played in Toronto. It doesn't stop there as Donaldson comes up with a clutch play to help the Blue Jays win like he did in game 3 of the ALDS against Texas.
Shortstop- Tony Fernandez- Was an excellent defender on the field and helped the Blue Jays to the 93 World series. Also had good batting average for the Blue Jays and was capable of swiping a bag or two here or there. But it will always be his defensive range that I will remember him for. Not many ground balls could escape the infield between 2nd and 3rd when Tony Fernandez was at Shortstop.
Backup Infielders- John Olerud, Orlando Hudson, Troy Tulowitzki , Kelly Gruber
John Olerud was the only Blue Jay to win a batting title in 93 and had good fielding range and won 2 World Series. Orlando Hudson was the second best Second basemen the Blue Jays had and won one Gold Glove for his defense. Troy Tulowitzki was a key upgrade over Jose Reyes at shortstop and helped the Blue Jays to the playoffs when he came in 2015. Kelly Gruber is a sentimental favourite of mine and played well for the Blue Jays for a few seasons at third.
Honorable Mention- Ryan Goins, Fred McGriff, Aaron Hill.
Starting Outfield
Right Field- Jose Bautista- This was an easier choice and the Blue Jays had some honorable mentions in the outfield to. And no, despite the fact that he played a few years in Right field, Joe Carter has been listed as a Left Fielder (more on him in a bit). Bautista was a consistent 30 home run and 100 RBI threat and had one of the best throwing arms in the outfield. His fielding was decent and his crowning moment was the home run and bat flip in the 2015 ALDS against the Texas Rangers.
Centre Fielder- Devon White- 5 Gold gloves, 2 World Series and one all star appearance as a Blue Jay. Was usually lead off hitter with good batting average and capable of hitting 15 home runs and 60 plus RBIs and scoring runs, and with his speed was a consistent base stealing threat. Usually didn't see him dive or slide for pop flies as he able to snag a pop fly on his feet with ease. His batting average in the playoffs during his stay with the Blue Jays was .336 which was better than his regular season average. Devon was key contributor in the post season.
Left Fielder- Joe Carter- He just had to be in the starting outfield. I recall him playing Right Field more often than Left, but I had to make sure he was in the starting rotation with Bautista on my list. Joe was Mr. Clutch for the Blue Jays as no other player I could think of came up with the Big plays more than Joltin Joe did. Was the first Blue Jay player to hit a home run in the World Series (and RBI) was the first to hit a home run on Canadian Soil in the World Series (and first RBI) and was involved in the final play of both of the Blue Jays world Series wins. The most notable play was the 93 World Series walk off home run.
Reserve Outfielders- George Bell, Vernon Wells, Shawn Green, Jesse Barfield
George Bell and Jesse Barfield were before my time, and they played in what was considered a very strong outfield with Lloyd Moseby during the 1980s. George Bell won the 1987 regular season MVP. Vernon Wells was a consistent pick to win a Gold Glove when he was the Blue Jays centre fielder, but may have been overpaid late in his tenure and was then traded. Shawn Green was slowly becoming a consistent 30 home run 30 stolen base threat when he left in free agency in 1999.
Honorable Mentions- Lloyd Moseby, Kevin Pillar, Raul Mondesi, Shannon Stewart
Designated Hitter- Edwin Enarnacion- Played first base, but was more well known as a DH. Was probably the best run producer the Blue Jays had in the 2010s and this is with a team that consists of Josh Donaldson and Jose Bautista. Consistently a threat for 40 home runs and 100 or more RBIs. The home run in the 2016 AL Wild Card game was arguably his greatest moment.
Reserve DH- Paul Molitor- Consistent with the bat, had a 22 home run and 22 stolen base season in 1993 with a 200 plus hit season and a .326 batting average (2nd that season to Olerud in the American League). Played even better in the post season with a World Series MVP to his credit.
Honorable Mention- Dave Winfield
Starting Pitching-
1. Roy Halladay- RIP Doc. You are the opening day starter in my opinion even over Roger Clemens due to the fact that Clemens only played two seasons to Roy's 11. Consistent threat for a Cy Young award and was usually among the leaders for Innings pitched each year. Just missed out on pitching no hitters until he was traded to Philly where he pitched a perfect game in just his second month there.
2. Roger Clemens- In two seasons in Toronto, Roger Clemens won the pitching triple crown (lead league in wins, ERA, and strike outs) both years and the AL Cy Young award for best pitcher. His two years lead to a career renaissance of sorts. But unhappy with the lack of success with the team, he asked for a trade after the second season of a 4 year deal he signed.
3. Dave Steib- Was a model of consistency for the Blue Jays pitching during the 1980s. Only one pitcher won more games than he did in the 1980s and that would be Jack Morris (also a Blue Jay in 92-93, but not on this list). Pitched the only Blue Jays no hitter, and was able to finish games he started win or lose.
4. Jimmy Key- The only left hander in this rotation. Would average 14 wins a season and would eat up more than 200 innings consistently as well. Could be relied on for a solid start when he pitched.
5. Pat Hentgen- The only Cy Young award winner outside of Halladay and Clemens. His best years in the 90s saw him consistently pitch 200 innings or more, and pitch 19 wins or more seasons at least twice. Was an innings eater, but his ERA could have been better which is why he ends up in the 5th spot.
6th (spot starts)- Marcus Stroman- The only current starting pitcher I can put on this list. I don't think anyone has the desire to compete and win like Stroman does. His size has me wondering if he can be consistent for as long as some of the other pitchers on this list were.
Honorable Mentions- Juan Guzman, Aaron Sanchez, Todd Stottlemyre, David Wells.
Relief Pitching-
Long relief- David Wells- Was more well known as a starter, but also pitched relief during the first World Series run thanks to the signing of Jack Morris and sudden emergence of Juan Guzman. Was one of the four pitchers to win 20 games for the Blue Jays in a season which is why I picked him for long relief.
Middle Relief- Brett Cecil and Paul Quantrill- I think the Blue Jays missed Cecil a little during the 2017 season as they hadn't a better left handed relief pitcher over the last few years. Paul Quantrill was consistent during his stay with the Blue Jays to eat up some of the middle relief innings. Outside of Guzman and Hentgen, the starting pitching in Toronto was horrid in 1996 and it reflected on Quantrill's numbers negatively. His numbers after were much better and he wasn't used as much as a spot starter and was transferred to the bullpen where he pitched well.
7th inning- Roberto Osuna and Mike Timlin- Maybe down the road, Osuna will be known as the best closer in Blue Jays history. But now it is too soon to tell. He is able to strike out batters consistently and when he gets on a roll, he can't be hit. However, he is streaky and sometimes can blow a few save opportunities in a row. Mike Timlin was better after he left Toronto and won two more World Series in Boston. He was a good relief pitcher in Toronto and that can't be taken away from him.
Setup man- Duane Ward- Any fan of the late 80s and early 90s Blue Jays can see where I am going with the Closer spot. Duane Ward closed out many games during that time period and was excellent strike out pitcher. He took the closing spot for good in 1993 after the following man left for Texas.
Closer- Tom Henke- The Terminator was his nickname as he was able to finish out games consistently without blowing an opportunity. However, he was known to get off to a slow start each season which is why Duane Ward was often the closer early in the season during his stay.
Honorable Mentions- Casey Janssen, Mark Eichorn.
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