From 8 girls I have seen or dated, (7 actually, the last one is just a good friend that I never got involved with and will stay that way), I can tell you that I have learned this much from the dating world.
1. Don’t get attached first- It seems the women I dated were instantly turned off if I got attached first before they did. It makes matters worse if they decide that they are too afraid to be honest with you out of fear of hurting your feelings. Of course, your feelings might be a cause of concern if you get attached and they haven't. Be responsible with your own feelings.
2. Beware of girls who are getting over their exes. Four of the ones I dated or got involved with fit this mold. They will not be looking for anything serious, but one claimed to be looking for something serious and wanted it from me. However, once the ex or someone they like more than you gets in the picture, you effectively become the second option and are put on the backburner. I have learned the responsible thing for me to do at this point is to just walk away and not interfere with these types of girls.
3. Never bring up the relationship first- The ones I got attached to resisted me because of this.
4. Be very careful about bringing up your diagnosis. I can honestly tell you that this is a double-edged sword. On one side, you will have someone that runs away when they find out. On the other hand, if you don't tell a person, they might believe you don't trust them. So choose very wisely and carefully who you reveal this information to.
5. Never say or do anything that could get you in trouble- Keep your personal stuff to yourself. Never tell a girl you are fooling around with that you have other options (duh). If they know ahead of time and have no problem with it, then that is their problem when one occurs. Never tell a confused girl, or someone that is more than willing to screw you over, if you are seeing anyone at all. You are responsible for your actions, and ultimately responsible for opening up to someone who ends up screwing you over first chance they get. Never try and scare other guys off because you want the girl they want as well.
6. Keep your options open til you know for sure who and what you want- Girls don’t like being your only option as indicated in lesson one, but they do like knowing if you will make them the priority. It is easier to avoid attachments this way. Only go for the one you want when you know for sure you want her. Doesn’t mean she wants you back so tread carefully.
7. Girls are attracted to dominant leaders- Be more assertive and know what you want and take charge of a situation. This goes hand in hand with knowing what you want and going for it.
8. Beware of girls that don’t know what they want- Girls can be confusing. Girls number 1 and 5 both didn't know what they wanted. Their actions always proved that they want to make everyone happy without having to be honest with others as well. Be very careful when you cross paths with this type. Don't be forced to make decisions for them in regards to who they want to be with. Be responsible for yourself and do what you need to do to make yourself happy.
9. Pay attention to those who want to move slowly-There are reasons why. The main reason in my experience is always about whether they are over an ex yet and the pace they want to move on from them at. Some may have an FWB in the picture. In my experience, I have never successfully entered a real relationship with someone who wanted to take things slowly. Make sure that things will work for both of you.
10. Don’t give anyone more respect than what you give yourself. This just opens up the door for problems and being abused and this is the most likely kind or relationship you will get in. It will not be fun and will be very painful. This might be the most important lesson of course.
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