Why people are used as Scapegoats.

A little short thing I have in a book I wrote.  I have not published it yet, and I am taking the time to consider whether to publish or not.

The reasons genuinely caring Aspies are used as Scapegoats.

To be fair, it’s the same reason that any genuine, loving and caring person can be used as a scapegoat.  It has to do with the level of self-respect one presents to others.  It also has to do with how hard people are on themselves and the standards they try and live up to. 
It’s like the guy who caught the foul ball during the Chicago Cubs playoff baseball game back in 2003.  Because the team didn’t perform well after the incident, it was somehow his fault that the Cubs didn’t make it to the World Series that year.  The truth is, everyone can be fanatical about something and don’t even see the truth to their own decision making.  People simply don’t like taking responsibility for their actions and can dump them on someone else the first chance they get.  It’s much easier to do it to a genuinely caring person, especially someone on the autism spectrum.  Here are reasons why a person can be a spapegoat.

1.   As already stated, it has to do with the fact that genuinely caring people don’t put on acts to get what they want.  They do things that are caring and loving quite naturally.  However, the majority of people I meet just aren’t used to it or care for it either.

2. You are used out of self-interest.  You did or had something another person wanted, they took advantage of it and discarded you without any regard to your own feelings after they got what they wanted.

3. People simply make excuses for their own behaviour first chance they get.  It’s easier to blame a genuinely nice and caring person if you are perceived to be a doormat or weak.

4. Tactful communication- the genuinely caring person is always going to be able to communicate love and compassion for other people.  For some strange reason, this is too easy for other people since unpleasant behaviour is somehow better despite the suffering involved.  I know I have passed on good people for unpleasant people as well.  This is not gender specific.  However, check number 10 for why being truthful is considered rude.

5. We are more likely to call people out on their behaviour towards us.  This in turn causes people to blame us for their actions rather than take responsibility for it.  Anything done by another person to make us suffer is somehow our fault.

6. They way in which other people make connections is based on acts of self-interest.  As said before in reason number one, the natural connection is often taken for granted and not realized until it’s far too late.  Most people move on from an Aspie and believe that we won’t miss them at all.  Nothing can be further from the truth.  In fact, people don’t prove to me that they miss me either.

7. When walking away, people would rather brew up negative feelings about other people just so they have the excuse they need to give up and run away.  I am just as guilty of this as the next person.

8. Most people diagnosed with Autism or Aspergers usually don’t speak up for themselves and have no skills in manipulation.  Therefore, it’s easier to paint us out to be a bad guy or less skilled at something so that a more dominating person can get what they want.  Aspies and nice guys have to learn not to choose the path of least resistance and pick their battles more wisely.

9. Based on number 8, dominance and leadership are attractive qualities to have.

10. Being direct and honest is considered rude and mean.  The irony- leading other people on somehow isn’t considered rude.  It’s amazing that people are willing to make others suffer, but don’t like it when the sufferer speaks up to them about it.