I know there are some people out there who are reading my blogs. I am actually quite surprised to see the number of people that were interested in reading my one blog about Aspies and dating part 1 and part 1 of my nervous breakdown series. I found myself even more surprised that people wanted to read my Aspie sense of morals post as well. The numbers aren't staggering by any means. What I have found though is that the numbers did jump up a little bit after I joined wrongplanet.net forums and contributed a little bit to the forums there. I think the majority of my readers come from that website since I do have a link on my profile there to this blog.
I have decided to stray away from the Aspie thing for this post for one reason. I have decided to talk about what I have noticed about the health effects of smoking. It will be a bit of a story as well.
I first tried smoking a cigarette when I was 13. The majority of people that smoke their first cigarette will not likely inhale during the first cigarette and smart people will noticed this as well. I was busted cold on this and was told to properly inhale. I coughed hard for a minute and it was at that moment I decided to never smoke.
I was 19 years old and bought a pack of cigarettes one day. I remember deciding to try a pack of DuMaurier Regulars. After a couple days, I threw the pack out with about 16 cigarettes out and thought to myself that I would not do this again. I once again proved myself wrong as I was smoking some Captain Black cigarillos a year later on occasion. The cigarillos are something you are not supposed to inhale anyway, and I don't think I ever did. I went on vacation and didn't touch a cigarette until I hit college in January of 2007. I was not smoking regularly at first and was probably only smoking five or less a day for a good while. Eventually the habit picked up and I was smoking about 8-10 a day.
I started to exercise regularly when I was 22 years old. I had no issue with smoking and exercising and was rapidly increasing my endurance despite my smoking habit. I went from being able to run very little to being able to run 5 km by the end of 2008. In 2009, I was able to run a little more than that. I have been able to run 8-10 km in the last year and that was during a time period when I was not smoking. However, at the age of 22, I was partying a lot too and consuming a lot of alcohol and smoking a lot when out. Eventually this started causing me heartburn and I had to watch how much I drink and smoked for a while. Of course my fitness routine reduced the effects of acid reflux significantly and I was needing medication for my heartburn periodically rather than every day.
I turned 25 years old and started getting dizziness and headaches. I was doing weightlifting and cardio routines consistently as well. I was able to attribute one spell of dizziness and headaches to acid reflux. So I figured from then on I would just take my medication when I felt these symptoms. Of course, things got bad at one point and the dizziness and headaches would come and go at least twice a month. I went to a doctor and based on the acid reflux diagnosis, I was given a blood test to take to determine whether I had stomach bacteria causing this issue for me. The test came back negative and I was clean of any bacteria. Yet I was still a smoker and I was still feeling dizziness from my chosen lifestyle. I did a lot of lifting at work as well and was working quite hard as well. I would find myself sick at least 2-3 times a week for the next while.
I decided one day to quit smoking using a book by a man named Allen Carr called "Easy Way to Quit Smoking" It helped me quit and I noticed a lot of energy in myself after I quit and the dizziness and headaches were significantly reduced and almost non existent. I never once took any pills for acid reflux during this time period as well. My fitness levels went up and I was able to lift heavier weights without feeling as tired or having as much pain in my chest from the smoking. I was doing pretty good. Eventually, the girl from the story I had in part 6 of my nervous breakdown series was a factor in my relapsing on my habit. I remember being quite arrogant during this time period as well.
I was not as physically active during the time period after I relapsed and I noticed that the headaches and dizziness weren't that severe either. I was able to make the connection there that working out and smoking has a drastic effect on your body. Sure working out makes you feel great about your own body, but the two lifestyle factors were working against eachother in a very harmful way. I also noticed that I was more likely to get heartburn from smoking.
So the point of this blog was simple. I understand everyone is different and each person can handle these kind of things differently from the next person. I am still a smoker today and I would advise people that like being physically fit that aren't smoking to never try it or if you had quit to never start again. What I told you is that smoking and physical fitness does not mix well. You may be fine at first, but the more intense you go with your workout routines, the more likely you will have your smoking habit and workout habits work against eachother in a harmful way. This is what I noticed as a 10-12 cigarettes a day type of smoker.
Saturday 25 August 2012
Monday 20 August 2012
Why so Superficial? Where is the connection?
For those who may not understand what I mean by the title, I live in Canada. The culture over here is based off more fear than what a typical Aspie has. It is actually quite sad to say it. I know a lot may disagree with me, but everyone likes to judge a book by it's cover, so first impressions are so very crucial. That is just one point that will not be discussed much further. For me, superficial means being polite and nice to people without having to show any respect whatsoever, and without establishing any sort of emotional connection. It is also based off a bunch of silly guidelines that people give us on how to communicate with people in the real world. It is quite depressing to think about it.
Before I go any further, I would like to state that there are many people that find Aspies to be the most superficial of all. I will explain the reason for this differs to each person with Asperger's Syndrome. But I think the biggest culprit for Aspie superficial behaviour is because they have problems establishing an emotional connection with others. I will argue to the death that there are people out there that try and probably need a lot more work in order to establish such connections. For me, I believe my superficial behaviour comes from the fact that I tried to establish emotional connections with the wrong people in the past and I have built a certain degree of anxiety because of that.
I have talked to someone (an NT) recently through some messages about her experience in North America in the last couple years. She is from Europe and stated the differences to me about the difference in culture in her country and in the United States. It did get me thinking about how Canadians are not too different in terms of how people get a long with eachother. The key differences I remember being brought up in the back and forth instant messaging was how the way people communicate over here is considered rude in her country. She gave the example of how she would have conversations with people in public places and it actually sounded like a good talk between the two. She did not mention whether she felt there was a connection between her and the person she was talking to, but mentioned that the other did not ask for contact information so that they could communicate with eachother again. The next time she would see this person, this other person would act like a best friend. This is superficial in her eyes from what I interpreted. She did not point out if this was an Aspie thing or an NT thing, so I will assume for the purposes of this blog that both types of people do it since I have seen it.
Of course on another note, she pointed out that people were very superficial in the way they communicate with eachother. She pointed out how everyone is trained to say to eachother "Hey, how are you?" and the response is supposed to be "Good, and you?" This leaves pretty much no opportunity for small talk as I have witnessed myself (and done). It is an awkward way to start a conversation as well if that is the response you get to such a question. It often gives off the impression that the person answering the question does not want to speak at all. Not sure if this is superficial, or fear that people have. NT's do the same thing with eachother and the subtlety is picked up much easier by them than it is by me.
The difference in culture when it comes to getting one person's phone number was also brought up. Over in her culture, it is considered rude not to call or text right away, she understands people are busy, but the point is to call or text if you want people to believe you are interested. She gave her number out to a person and they didn't call for a couple days. Over here, I noticed this myself and was kind of reminded of it, that people over here like to play games with eachother. I don't get why, but I don't find much fun in chasing after people. You either want me around or you don't, I hate guessing. Going back on the receiving one's number here, we hear all sorts of strange opinions on when a person should call: must wait 24 hours, 2 days, etc. Why must things be so complicated? Because everybody to a degree has been trained to be superficial and play games. Another reason is because everyone is so afraid to make a connection, and it is not just an Aspie or NT thing either. Everyone can be quite superficial at times.
But of course now, this opinion came from a woman who visited North America for a couple years. The most important thing here to consider is that if she pointed out how superficial people really are, then I can assure you that others in North America have probably noticed it too. Women over here have always complained about the lack of respect that men give them, and it is simple reasons such as what I stated above has happened to them. It is not because someone wanted to sleep with them, or because someone was nice to them. It really is that simple. How many missed opportunities men have because they were afraid or rejection or followed some silly guideline that they heard from a friend who knows absolutely nothing, or from some expert that says "Do this, not that"? Of course, I should not put the blame on one particular gender, or race. If a person is trained to be superficial in how they relate to and communicate with other people, the ability to establish emotional connections with other humans will be severely limited. And yes, there are women who do some of these same things and I understand that it works both ways.
You also have to wonder why people listen so carefully to what others think. I remember we have this thing in our body called "animal instinct." The animal instinct is primarily used for survival and reproduction (my opinion, bare with me). This is also part of the natural fight vs flight responses of a human being (listen to your brain, you will run). Here are some important questions to answer as well: How do you expect to make connections with others if you never follow your instinct? Why do you have to listen to what others think? Why listen to an expert who tells yo to do this, and not that when it comes to guidelines about when to talk to someone? Why are you so afraid?
Before I go any further, I would like to state that there are many people that find Aspies to be the most superficial of all. I will explain the reason for this differs to each person with Asperger's Syndrome. But I think the biggest culprit for Aspie superficial behaviour is because they have problems establishing an emotional connection with others. I will argue to the death that there are people out there that try and probably need a lot more work in order to establish such connections. For me, I believe my superficial behaviour comes from the fact that I tried to establish emotional connections with the wrong people in the past and I have built a certain degree of anxiety because of that.
I have talked to someone (an NT) recently through some messages about her experience in North America in the last couple years. She is from Europe and stated the differences to me about the difference in culture in her country and in the United States. It did get me thinking about how Canadians are not too different in terms of how people get a long with eachother. The key differences I remember being brought up in the back and forth instant messaging was how the way people communicate over here is considered rude in her country. She gave the example of how she would have conversations with people in public places and it actually sounded like a good talk between the two. She did not mention whether she felt there was a connection between her and the person she was talking to, but mentioned that the other did not ask for contact information so that they could communicate with eachother again. The next time she would see this person, this other person would act like a best friend. This is superficial in her eyes from what I interpreted. She did not point out if this was an Aspie thing or an NT thing, so I will assume for the purposes of this blog that both types of people do it since I have seen it.
Of course on another note, she pointed out that people were very superficial in the way they communicate with eachother. She pointed out how everyone is trained to say to eachother "Hey, how are you?" and the response is supposed to be "Good, and you?" This leaves pretty much no opportunity for small talk as I have witnessed myself (and done). It is an awkward way to start a conversation as well if that is the response you get to such a question. It often gives off the impression that the person answering the question does not want to speak at all. Not sure if this is superficial, or fear that people have. NT's do the same thing with eachother and the subtlety is picked up much easier by them than it is by me.
The difference in culture when it comes to getting one person's phone number was also brought up. Over in her culture, it is considered rude not to call or text right away, she understands people are busy, but the point is to call or text if you want people to believe you are interested. She gave her number out to a person and they didn't call for a couple days. Over here, I noticed this myself and was kind of reminded of it, that people over here like to play games with eachother. I don't get why, but I don't find much fun in chasing after people. You either want me around or you don't, I hate guessing. Going back on the receiving one's number here, we hear all sorts of strange opinions on when a person should call: must wait 24 hours, 2 days, etc. Why must things be so complicated? Because everybody to a degree has been trained to be superficial and play games. Another reason is because everyone is so afraid to make a connection, and it is not just an Aspie or NT thing either. Everyone can be quite superficial at times.
But of course now, this opinion came from a woman who visited North America for a couple years. The most important thing here to consider is that if she pointed out how superficial people really are, then I can assure you that others in North America have probably noticed it too. Women over here have always complained about the lack of respect that men give them, and it is simple reasons such as what I stated above has happened to them. It is not because someone wanted to sleep with them, or because someone was nice to them. It really is that simple. How many missed opportunities men have because they were afraid or rejection or followed some silly guideline that they heard from a friend who knows absolutely nothing, or from some expert that says "Do this, not that"? Of course, I should not put the blame on one particular gender, or race. If a person is trained to be superficial in how they relate to and communicate with other people, the ability to establish emotional connections with other humans will be severely limited. And yes, there are women who do some of these same things and I understand that it works both ways.
You also have to wonder why people listen so carefully to what others think. I remember we have this thing in our body called "animal instinct." The animal instinct is primarily used for survival and reproduction (my opinion, bare with me). This is also part of the natural fight vs flight responses of a human being (listen to your brain, you will run). Here are some important questions to answer as well: How do you expect to make connections with others if you never follow your instinct? Why do you have to listen to what others think? Why listen to an expert who tells yo to do this, and not that when it comes to guidelines about when to talk to someone? Why are you so afraid?
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