Edit May 25, 2014-
I wanted to add this to those on the spectrum that might be upset and feeling rather worried. I felt extremely worried after the Sandy Hook incident myself. I remember the backlash that went against those diagnosed was nowhere near as bad as I thought it could be. In fact, I don't recall any backlash at all.
The media focused more on Elliot Rodger's manifesto and video more than they did on a diagnosis. Other than this blog entry I had written below on the 24th of May, I will not bring up any mention of the topic of this shooter or Sandy Hook in any future blog entry. The only exception is a brief passing mention in a reflective blog entry about what I might have been going through at the time.
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Here we go again. I wrote a blog entry 17 months ago detailing how I felt about the shootings committed by a 20 year old named Adam Lanza in Connecticut. 17 months later, we now have a guy killing women because he doesn't like being a virgin at the age of 22?
I was a virgin at the age of 22, and I had a lot of people run their mouths in their life about how being a man meant sleeping with women. The interesting thing is that over the years, I learned just how full of crap some of these people can be as well. I also learned that many of these men that claimed that they slept with a high number of women were just braggers who knew far less than they claimed to have actually known. Granted, some knew what they wanted and that was sex. I eventually realized that as much fun as sex was, it never actually made me feel happy to just have sex with someone.
I had a busy day on the 24th of May. I first heard about this incident when me and my girlfriend were heading out to the beach. She told me some young kid shot up a bunch of women on some street because he was unhappy with being a virgin or because he didn't like being rejected. I remember saying at the time that I wouldn't be surprised in the least bit if this guy somehow ends up being reported as being diagnosed with Aspergers or Autism. There was never another time where I hated being right.
Some of my blog readers know I frequently visit and post on the Love and Dating section of wrongplanet.net. It was when I read this thread (click here) on the website where I found out that I was right and I just cringed. You will see that many people in this thread are very upset about this. There are probably other links on the website right now that will also show this. Any other autism forum, i wouldn't be surprised if there are people who feel hurt as well. It's like the Adam Lanza incident all over again. The stigma will continue and it isn't going to get any better. The BBC apparently reported that he was diagnosed with Aspergers in this Link. I also found it interesting that this kid is also a son of a filmmaker in Hollywood.
Now of course there is the video Elliot Rodgers posted which I watched with the girlfriend. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. First off, he comments on how hurt he feels over the rejection he faces. He then questions why women choose other men over him since he is such a great guy. Comments on how he has his sexual advances rejected. Comments on how he feels superior to other people. What was I just hearing? Yeah, this is not Aspergers talking. This is self-entitlement and selfishness talking here. There was nothing loving about what he said.
Newsflash for everyone: Typically, an Aspie goes through all sorts of rejection in their life. I have, and so has just about any other Aspie. So does everyone else regardless of a diagnosis or not. All i heard in this video is "I want to have sex" and "if you won't have sex with me, I will get my revenge." This is how everyone is going to look at it. We will also see a superiority complex with the way he talks about women and other people in general. Nice guys aren't entitled to anything. I also see a guy in the video who seems to not understand that others have boundaries and want them to be respected.
We also get someone posting on a PUA hate blog about a PUA response. Take a look at Amanda Hess' blog entry here. I'm glad this was posted as I am sure people know how I feel about PUA communities by now and Amanda has provided links to back herself up. Some of these guys apparently suggested that they could have helped prevent the deaths if Elliot listened to them or if Elliot allowed someone to coach him. This is quite disturbing in it's own right if people truly believe that.
I really don't know if I should feel sorry or Elliot and the rejection he felt. I remember how it felt to be rejected and I remember the hormones raging within me and wanting to have sex at that age as well. But I also remember I got through college without and I find that it doesn't bother me. I always seemed to have friends around to talk to and hang out with.
However, I do know that temptation can come when we are isolated as well. People can be tempted to do all sorts of weird and possibly dangerous things when they are kept to themselves for too long. This isolation definitely has nothing to do with Aspergers. It has more to do with not having people around to influence you about what is wrong or right. There is no moral conscience to develop from isolation. Of course, isolation could be forced on yourself if you refuse to listen to others as well.
When it all comes down to it, it's really hard for me to gauge how I should feel about this other than appalled that it happened again. Another terrible incident involving a shooter who is said to be diagnosed with Aspergers. May the families of the victims have God on their side in this tough time and may they mourn the losses and do what they can to move forward. May there be prayers and expressions of love given to those affected and may they be helped in this tough time in their lives.
I also pray and wish for those diagnosed not to panic too much over this incident. I know it's very tempting to be upset and mad about all of this. I know many others who promote and love to hate others will do what they want to do and make you feel unloved as well. Just know that those who make you feel unloved probably don't understand what love really is, but only claim to know. And after all, learn to forgive those who make you feel unloved as they may not know what forgiveness is either.
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