Top Ten things/words that hurt an Aspie's feelings.

After putting some feelings into what I read and remember hearing from others in the past got me thinking about something.  I did the research and sure enough there are other Aspies that feel the same way too.  Here are the top ten things we don't like hearing because it hurts our feelings and why.

1. "Your interest/hobby sounds like a waste of time"- Okay.  So telling me that my writing is a waste of time because it will never get me anywhere is not something I want to hear personally.  Others have their hobbies or interests that they like getting into because it gives them a sense of who they are.  They get a good feeling from engaging in these interests.  Telling me that my writing is a waste of time is only going to piss me off.
2. "I find you very annoying"- Being told that I am annoying guarantees one thing... I probably won't talk to you again; Even if you want me to because you just said you can't stand me. Granted yes, I might go off on some topic you might not want to hear for a little too long and that might be my fault for not reading the cue.  But telling me I am annoying is like asking to end our friendship.
3. "I find you to be very boring"-  Okay then.  I'm sorry that you didn't enjoy my company when we were out then.  I made the best of the situation I had and did my best to make you feel like I was engaging you into a fun activity or a great conversation.  But to tell me I am boring... I think you are the problem if you can't communicate with me when I have done my best to communicate with you.
4. "You're creepy"-  Well, this is probably the most common one that all Aspies hate hearing.  Generally speaking, the good ones hate hearing it the most.  The reason why is we don't take advantage of you and we try and gauge your personality as best as we can.  The best of us have a strong sense of morals instilled in us.  To be told we are creepy scares us away from someone that might not think that of us.  We feel that noone respects us when we are told we are creepy, and it feels as if you don't think we have any feelings at all.
5. Insulting us, then telling us it was a joke- Our feelings are obviously going to be hurt when you personally insult us or make us feel that way.  Then when you see that we are hurt by it, you then say something like "Quit being such a baby, I was only joking."  So you insult us again when we know we were just insulted and told not to take it seriously.  Even NT's hate getting this treatment.
6. Telling us we are not good at something especially when you know that we are good at it.  The big reason some might do this is out of jealousy.  What is the point?  We just proved we are better than you are at something.  You don't have to make people feel insecure because you are.  A typical Aspie has some sort of insecurity issue. Telling an Aspie that he is not good at something that he feels good about it is only going to open up another insecurity.  If an Aspie is good at being an architect, don't tell him he is not when you haven't the first clue about what architecture is (I'm not an architect, just using an example).
7. Calling us a stalker- Along with being told we are creepy, this is a big thing we hate hearing, especially if we aren't stalkers.  Granted, some Facebook behaviour might come across this way such as "why don't you answer me? I saw you read my message."  and "I saw you enjoyed your night with so and so through Facebook"  Telling an Aspie how you feel about this behaviour is the better approach and do so as politely as possible.  Saying to us "you're a stalker" is probably going to make him delete you rather than the other way around.  Being deleted might help (you may have already thought about deleting him yourself), but what happens when you see this person again?  He won't let this "stalker" comment go and being civil will be a lot harder around him.
8. Lying to us/not being clear with your feelings- Telling us one thing and doing the exact opposite is only going to hurt us more than the average person if we feel we care for you enough.  We don't make friends as easily as everyone else.  Personal experience: I'm dating a person and it ends by telling me they don't want a relationship with anyone to let me down gently is one thing.  To tell me they still like me is another thing.  But announcing their relationship with another person on Facebook two days later is going to make me feel betrayed.  The fact that this conversation happened over the phone made it worse.  This kind of behaviour shows a total lack of respect and my respect and trust will be very hard to win back.  This act actually made it harder for me to trust people.
9. "You're ugly/unattractive"- I read enough magazines, and watch enough TV to be told that thank you very much.  And I don't read much gossip or watch much TV.  I don't need someone I meet in person to tell me that I am ugly.  I grew up being told constantly that I was not very attractive on the outside.  I knew full well that there was a good person on the inside.  But the reality is people judge based on what they see.  Ugly on the outside means don't approach.  Luckily for me I have many people tell me that they find me physically attractive these days.  Still, I have issues with taking the compliments because I was very used to the insults and bullying when I was younger.  I am finding this very hard to shake off.
10. "I find you weird"- Essentially, this goes along with creepy or stalker.  When a person tells you this, it's like they are communicating with you that they don't want you around.  But when someone hurts an Aspie's feelings by saying this, they say it like it's the Aspie's fault.  Well guess what?  It isn't our fault, we are just a little different and we might stand out a little and we do our best to stand out in a good way.  We are a little different and the tone that we usually hear the word "weird" in usually implies that you are repulsed.  This might actually be the most damaging thing for an Aspie to hear if the tone is correct.  Even if you say it in an accepting manner, how an Aspie might feel is still a crap-shoot.  You just don't know how he will take the comment.